"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead; sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it is only with yourself"
To say that I am Facebook obsessed is truly an understatment because I can't go more than an hour without checking it. I love to see all the updates of what is going on in my friends lives and the ones that I can't be near I am glad I say a few nice things too...
Well that being said, I have been finding myself becoming "friends" with many people I went to high school with lately and while it is great to see and talk to some old friends and acquaintances it comes with a small price. It seems like the females are all married or getting married. Each of them have their profile picture of them in their wedding dresses and as I see each of them so happy it kinda tugs at my heart just a bit.
Yes, I have been married and divorced before I even reached the age of 25 but it wasn't the wedding I had always dreamed of. Here is my story: I had gotten pregnant at 18 and as much as I cared for my then-boyfriend, I was no where ready to marry but we did cause it was the "right" thing to do. We had 2 kids and were absolutely miserable the entire time. We always fought and I finally had enough and left.
I know that most little girls have their weddings all planned out and I am no exception. My friends laugh that I have the wedding planned out and I don't even need the guy. Being a Fashion Designer who wants to one day design only wedding dresses (yes the next Vera Wang!), I have had "the Dress" designed for over 10 years but it has been altered over the years. Of course I have my dream location which I doubt would EVER happen but I would love for it to be Italy. I love the beauty of the county, from the vineyards to the architecture. Anywhere in the country would be lovely. ahh...a girl can dream!
So after seeing all these girls having their special weddings, it truly makes a me a tad jealous that I don't know if I had my chance and its gone. Where I am in my relationship right now is no where near an engagement or marriage so I know not to count on that happening with BF. I am trying to live each day one and at a time but I don't know if I can ever stop wanting to have my special day...
To say that I am Facebook obsessed is truly an understatment because I can't go more than an hour without checking it. I love to see all the updates of what is going on in my friends lives and the ones that I can't be near I am glad I say a few nice things too...
Well that being said, I have been finding myself becoming "friends" with many people I went to high school with lately and while it is great to see and talk to some old friends and acquaintances it comes with a small price. It seems like the females are all married or getting married. Each of them have their profile picture of them in their wedding dresses and as I see each of them so happy it kinda tugs at my heart just a bit.
Yes, I have been married and divorced before I even reached the age of 25 but it wasn't the wedding I had always dreamed of. Here is my story: I had gotten pregnant at 18 and as much as I cared for my then-boyfriend, I was no where ready to marry but we did cause it was the "right" thing to do. We had 2 kids and were absolutely miserable the entire time. We always fought and I finally had enough and left.
I know that most little girls have their weddings all planned out and I am no exception. My friends laugh that I have the wedding planned out and I don't even need the guy. Being a Fashion Designer who wants to one day design only wedding dresses (yes the next Vera Wang!), I have had "the Dress" designed for over 10 years but it has been altered over the years. Of course I have my dream location which I doubt would EVER happen but I would love for it to be Italy. I love the beauty of the county, from the vineyards to the architecture. Anywhere in the country would be lovely. ahh...a girl can dream!
So after seeing all these girls having their special weddings, it truly makes a me a tad jealous that I don't know if I had my chance and its gone. Where I am in my relationship right now is no where near an engagement or marriage so I know not to count on that happening with BF. I am trying to live each day one and at a time but I don't know if I can ever stop wanting to have my special day...
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