One can never expect perfection because it truly doesn't exist in this life so I will admit that I did have a major setback in my quest to find confidence and happyness.
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 8 months now but the last couple of months we have been fighting almost non stop when aren't broken up. See I have trust and control issues that have gotten in the way of a man who is used to being on his own for 3 years and not answering to anyone. I want our relationship to go a certain way and when it goes off the path that I want, I tend to start a HUGE fight which happen to be on Sundays. This past weekend, we talked about letting the past hurt go and not fighting anymore then we went Saturday and Sunday not talking which I HATE! I can't stand having no communication because it makes me feel like I am not worth his time or effort to just say hi... So I ended up sending way to many text messages until he called me and blew up on me Sunday night. I know that I didn't need to send all those messages and say a quarter of what I did but I can't take it back now.
So last night we talked for the first time since the fight and I ended up in tears and begging for yet another chance to prove that I won't fight with him but I don't think that this time he will forgive me. See the thing is... every time we fight and break up like this we ended up back together a few weeks later but it is time to break this cycle.
Since I am back to square one I will be starting with my affirmations again today and just reminding myself that I am a great person that deserves the best in this world!
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 8 months now but the last couple of months we have been fighting almost non stop when aren't broken up. See I have trust and control issues that have gotten in the way of a man who is used to being on his own for 3 years and not answering to anyone. I want our relationship to go a certain way and when it goes off the path that I want, I tend to start a HUGE fight which happen to be on Sundays. This past weekend, we talked about letting the past hurt go and not fighting anymore then we went Saturday and Sunday not talking which I HATE! I can't stand having no communication because it makes me feel like I am not worth his time or effort to just say hi... So I ended up sending way to many text messages until he called me and blew up on me Sunday night. I know that I didn't need to send all those messages and say a quarter of what I did but I can't take it back now.
So last night we talked for the first time since the fight and I ended up in tears and begging for yet another chance to prove that I won't fight with him but I don't think that this time he will forgive me. See the thing is... every time we fight and break up like this we ended up back together a few weeks later but it is time to break this cycle.
Since I am back to square one I will be starting with my affirmations again today and just reminding myself that I am a great person that deserves the best in this world!
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